Britain's Got Talent

i know its a little late to be actually discussing about this topic now ... but i was watching it on youtube recently ... and i couldnt help but believe how many beautiful voices there are in the UK... well ... 2 of which i insist on bringing forth to all you ppl ... im sure most of you have seen these videos ... but for those who havent ... u will regret not watching it .... the moment i played the video .... tears just incontrollably rolled down my cheeks .... the voices of Paul and Connie was mesmerizingly touching ... a unbelievable piece of vocal art that has been bestowed to our ears .... just listen to these voices with your heart ... enjoy folks =)

Paul Pott -

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DelJrP3P7tA&feature=related

Connie Talbot -

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QWNoiVrJDsE&feature=related

Ho perduto.

Mi non piace quel sensazione,

so qualcosa cattivo è circa accadere.

Rifuto perdere lui perchè il ragazzo è tutto per me,

ma qualche cosa non potere controllato.

Spero la felicità durare,

ti voglio bene la mia amore.

so lazy to blog dese days ... the only reason why im writing this blog post is bcos i need a space where i can type how i feel ... or rather the frustrations that have been going thru my mind ... maybe bcos im pms-ing or wtv ... i just feel that im caught in the same dilemma all over again ...

how many of u out there know exactly what u wanna do for a career in future ?? is that really your dream ?? how sure are u that u are willing to spend the rest of ur life doing that same thing ??

u knw i had my career path planned out ... i'll do psych now .. go on for masters and maybe phd ... become a psychologist ... but then ... i think abt it again ... i dont think i wanna spend the rest of my life counselling ppl and analysing their problems ... neither do i wanna wake up in the morning to drag myslf to the clinic and listen to ppl's problems ... i know myslf ... and i knw i will not settle down for a 9-5 job for the rest of my life ... i need adventures ... a passion to keep me motivated everyday and excited about wad the day will bring me ... i want a sense of satisfaction .... i wanna look back 50 yrs later and say ... " im glad i did all that . no regrets . "

sadly ... however ... i havent figured out what future will give me that kinda satisfaction ...

i was watching the OC season 4 dat day ... and it was the final episode where Summer was in a dilemma whether she should persue her dream of being a environmentalist or settle for comfy and stick with Seth ... when she turned to Julie for help ... she told summer ... " i got married too young to do wad i wanted ... dont settle for comfy " ....

i guess Summer's situation is kinda like mine now ... becos of the fact that i need security and shelter for my life and emotions ... im not quite ready to leave the comfyness dat i have now ... but at the same time ... i dont wanna look back 10 yrs later with a baby in my arms and thinking why i didnt do what i wanted ... it prolly wont be regret but most likely hoping that i at least did smth before gettin married and settling down ....

ppl are telling me ... just follow ur dreams ... do wad i wanna do ... but the key question is .... what is my dream ?? what is it exactly that i wanna do ??  if i cant figure out the answer to this question ... i will nv move on ... i will be stuck in the same damn position for as long as it takes ... its like ... my life hasnt made any progress at all since the day i got myslf pondering over this issue ... im still goin to college and completing my degree ... but i knw its only for the sake of the certificate ... im not finishing this course so i can head on for better advances in life ...

will someone pls tell me what i really want ?

been soooooooo busy with college !!  tournaments are here again ... jus played one netball at KLIUC ... lost that one ... but it was a good fight anyways ... got another bball tournament coming at at UCSI ... only 3 teams have registered for girls ... so we only need to win both games dat we're playing to win ... well in a way its kinda easy ... but its also pretty lame ... like dere's not much of a challenge dere anymore ... sigh ... wtv ... hopefully the excessive training pays off ... college work has also been piling up ... jus finished one eng research proposal ... sigh ...

ive been really lazy to update my blog cos nth much has been happening ... i feel like my life has been in a routine now ... its like ... college - home - bf - yumcha .... dats prolly it ... well the occasional SR lunches/dinners do happen once or twice a mth ... everyone is busy with their own things now anyway ...

recently ive been gettin comments tellin me that ive changed quite a bit ...comparing from the past ... well actually i do know what they mean ... lets talk about it ok ...

in the past ... well specifically half a yr ago ... im always out clubbing ... drinking ... wasting my life away ... engaging in futile worthless relationships .... dere was hardly a purpose or goal in my life at all ... thinking back abt it now ... i do agree that i had fun n crazy times ... n occasionally i do miss the days where i was single n always ready to play hard regardless of wtv consequences dere were ... but at the end of each crazy night ... id wake up in the morning n find that my life is still empty ... i jus didnt knw wad the heck i went thru the night before ... the dancing n clubbing were undoubtly fun .... but for what ??  it didnt take me long to realise that nothing purposeful resulted from it ...

now ?? im a nerd now ... lol ... well for one ... im puttin in more effort into college than i did before ... i actually QUIT clubbing n drinking .... i dunno how i managed to do that ... but i did .... well it started from a pact i made with my bf but time goes by ... somehow ... i jus didnt feel like going anymore ... i do think abt gettin wild at clubs but i nv turned the thoughts into actions ... and for drinking ... i jus woke up one morning feeling hung over n puking like shit ... kinda gave me a phobia towards drinkin too much ... urgh .... so i stopped.... i mean even if i do drink ... it'll prolly be a cup or 2 ...

its strange how things can change drastically huh ??  many ppl prolly wldnt believe that i would change this much ... sometimes whn i tell them i quit heading to the clubs anymore ... most of them wld laugh at me .. say ya right ... or mock at me for being a loser or making nasty comments about the way ive changed bla bla  .... but hey ... i'll face it honestly ... i kinda like myslf much more this way ... i knw damn well im not wasting my life away anymore ... and i knw damn well im not letting myslf degrade much further ... sacrificing ur reputation or values in life for a couple of wild nights with that cutie next to u just isnt worthwhile anymore ...

moreover ... i found smth dat is worth much more of time in life ... someone who is worth sacrificing all the partying and making the choice of settling down  =)  .... he's the reason why i can wake up saying ... hey .. its another great day ... he's the reason why achieving my goals in life is worth the try and setbacks .... and he's the reason of my life ...

i love you ...

 ok i knw i havent been updating since god knows whn ... but here i am now ... so stop cursing at my blog ... lol ... anyways ... hokkaido was awesome ... i mean not shopping/fun type of awesome but like ... " woah " kinda awesome ... get wad i mean ?? haha ... its like being in a movie scene or smth whn u see that beautiful scenery and flowers .... and the seafood is just great ... like ... succulent and fresh ... yum yum .... hehe ... den i headed back to spore .... where i just missed the great spore sales but wtv ... some shops were still on sale ... so i did a lil bit of shopping .... haha ... lucky me ... 

so whn i came back to kl ... i gave a lil baby darling a HUGE surprise ... well i told him i was gonna be back 4 days later whn in fact i was outside digital mall where he's working ... so it went a lil like this ...

him : " so where u now huh ? "

me : " owh u knw .. shopping with my mum ... she's so slow .. hogging on to my time while she looks at her aunty-ish shoes ... "

him : " baby i miss u so much u knw ?? sob sob "

me : " i knw i knw ... sigh ... so have u finished work yet huh ?? "

him : " yea ... in the lift now ... i'll ttyl ok ?? no reception in the lift ... "

me : " sure sure ... i love u dear =) "

him : " i love u too .. mwahx "

so den he comes down the lift ...  tra la la la la ...  * lift door opens revealing grinning maddie *

him : " * jaw drops n eye widens n hangs at that expression for 3 seconds * ............................... "

waahahhahaha ... i shld have took a pic of his expression ... it was hilarious .... but damn cute ... haha .... at least all dat lying was for a good cause ... =P ....

anyways ... here are some pics from hokkaido ... took ages to load dem up ... so yeap ... enjoy ... =)